Remember a month ago when I posted about my monthly shopping run with all three kids and how I didn’t want to do it again?  Today marks four weeks and we were mostly out of food, so it was time to brave the stores again…

Except I couldn’t do it.  It was really awful last time, and I tried to do a mid-month run to the store closest to my house for six things.  Six. Things.  And guess what, five minutes in I had a child SCREAMING under my arm and two others clueless.

That evening I told Matthew, I think I need to hire a nanny for the sole purpose of grocery shopping.

You can call me a quitter, or a wimp.  I’m okay with that…because for my sanity, and my childrens’ sanities, we really needed this.

I don’t really want a nanny in a true sense – I don’t really need help with the kids at home.  I have lots of help around the house, which frees me up to cook from scratch, home school, play with the kids, and take naps (because: pregnant).  But once or twice a month, I need to go out…and I need to not take the children with me.  I love them…I love them enough not to want to strangle them while I buy their food.  You see what I mean?

So, I prayed about it – a lot – because that’s really the only thing to do when you feel like you’re quitting on a great learning/growing opportunity and giving in to what seems easiest.

But, in truth, a woman that I’ve admired since our last time living here came up to me after church one Sunday a few months ago and asked if I had any work.  I told her I did not, but to call me in a month.  To her credit, she waited a month.  She waited until the day I told Matthew I think I need to hire a nanny and she called me.  Coincidental timing, or an answer to prayer?

So, I told her I did need someone, but not very much – a very little bit of work, but it was better than nothing if she still needed it.  I asked if she could come two days later to talk about the job.

The morning she was to come, I was still feeling doubtful about offering her just two days a month.  Barely worth the effort, but I didn’t need any more than that.  I was up early and checking my messages when another MAF wife asked the most incredulous question, completely out of the blue: She remembered that I might eventually hire a nanny part time and if I was still looking into that, could she also hire that person the rest of the time?

I immediately messaged her back that I was interviewing someone in an hour!  She was able to join me for the interview and it went pretty well.  She was great with the kids and seemed to be well aware of the needs of keeping a house and kids in top shape.  She is also very matter of fact and didn’t like how little we wanted to pay (the going missionary rate, but she has worked for diplomats in the past) but she also noted that some work was better than none.

Today was her first day here and I would say it went very well – the kids were happy and pleasant all day, and said they enjoyed their morning with her.

But this really wasn’t about them, was it?  No, it meant I did a month’s worth of shopping at three stores in four hours and it was peaceful and pleasant and I got everything on my list because I was able to read labels and search without distraction.  And it was awesome.  And I look forward to it next time.  And I am excited to see God’s timing work out so well in this – praying that this lady will be the one called to be part of our families, even in this small way.

This question is one that could start any typical conversation in Kinshasa.  Something is always broken.  For any number of reasons, things break more frequently here, and are usually more difficult to repair.  Parts of decent quality are hard to find, businesses can be hard to get to, finding a repair man is especially difficult.  I am happy to be married to an exceptionally talented one, so we are fine on that front, but that doesn’t mean he has time when something goes down.

It would be easy to be discouraged by the rate of things breaking.  It would be easy to make that the hot topic of conversation.  It would be easy to complain about how hard it is to make life feel normal when something essential is out of commission.

But, truthfully, we don’t feel that way – I don’t think most of the people who live here with us do, either.  I was thinking about it the other day, because I was taking a bath using water I heated in the electric kettle, because our hot water pipe along the outside of our house had broken open twice that week and a cold shower was not happening.  And how I really wanted cookies, but the oven isn’t working.  And the microwave caught on fire a few weeks ago.  And I burnt my hand on the exposed wire causing a short I didn’t see on the 12v fan because it was dark in the kids room, because they were sleeping, and their A/C was making such a racket that I had to turn it off because the compressor didn’t have enough power coming in…because the power here doesn’t always come in at the 220 volts it’s supposed to.

I was thinking of all of this and I still couldn’t be sad or worried.  I wasn’t thinking about how I wasn’t even stressed about it.  I had burn cream for my burnt palm.  I had electricity enough to heat the water quickly in the electric kettle so that I could bath without freezing (it’s not that hot in the mornings…not yet).  I didn’t really need an oven.  The stove top and broiler functions still work.  Okay, I was little bummed that we couldn’t have pizza for our normal Saturday night dinner, but oh well.  And so far, we haven’t even missed the microwave.

Meanwhile that same day, our first coats of awesome red paint went on the walls in the living/dining room, our curtains were en route to be delivered, we had a fun birthday party with friends to attend and we were heading out as a family to the new home store in town to buy a sweet painting and some bedroom curtains.  It was a good day – those things that were broken?  They were just new challenges to make life more interesting.

Maybe you think I’m just a glass half full person.  It would seem so, I suppose, but I rather like to think of it as an addictive gaming app.  Each level, or each week, you are supposed to go about your normal activities, but each week you have to figure out a new way, a new work around, to the way you did it last week or the week before.  It keeps you on your toes.  Okay, sometimes it keeps you a little stressed, but at the end of that level, aren’t you ready for the next one?  The next challenge, the next thought of “what do I think I can’t live without?”

I am, and will probably always be, learning to live in new and exciting ways.  I can’t be in a rut.  I can’t get into a habit…something will break and shake me out of it!  The most important thing to remember is that it isn’t about me at all.  It isn’t about what I can or cannot do, it is how I handle it.  No, the most important thing is that I remember WHO is in control and WHY I am learning to live in this new and exciting way…every week, over and over again.  Then I can relax in my lukewarm bath and wonder about how to get those cookies I’m craving.

We are rich.  We live in a country where we are very very wealthy.  It wouldn’t do any good to argue – most people in the city make between $1-$5 a day if they even have a job.  Obviously, we are far above that.

But the reality is, we aren’t swimming in gold coins or living it up.  The cost of living a Western-style life here is extremely high.  Why live a Western style life?  For health, for sanity, for safety, for progress.  If we came and lived in the housing of an average Kinois (KEEN-wah: Kinshasa resident), we would spend most of the day cooking, cleaning, and trying to stay healthy and safe.  There would be no margin for ministry and we would quickly return to the US.  The people of Kinshasa are in constant battle against the elements and fighting for their safety.  We are able to live safely, with our children, because we are rich.  Our wealth is distributed to keeping our home lives here sane and healthy and safe, so that we can perform the ministry to which we have been called.

We pay for things like household help and costly food.  Somehow, money is always passing out of our hands and it’s gone in a blink.  Not because we’re irresponsible, but because life is happening and it is busy here and something comes up every day.

If I have a busy day, I suddenly need more phone credits.  Matthew needed wood and cement for a project in the yard.  Our guard desperately needed a new pot for cooking and finally decided to speak up.  (This example can be a kicker – you might have household help who is constantly asking for things that are “needed.”  This is a favorite conversational debate between missionaries on how to handle it.  Pick your method, but we are very grateful to have guys who hardly ask for anything…their pot was a mess.)

Today, the prompting of this post, was the day-early appearance of my vegetable lady.  She and I have an interesting relationship – I rarely satisfy her need of selling lots of veggies, and I usually find that she shows up at the most inconvenient times.  Today I was sleeping…a much-needed midday nap.  Hello pregnancy tired!  But, she was a day early because she said she has to go to the hospital tomorrow.  Okay, I told her, but I don’t have any money.  I showed her the 1000 franc note I had in my purse.  It literally was my last bill.  I found 100 francs on the table near the door.  This equals just over $1.  I buy about $10 worth of veggies each week from her.

I accepted my weekly vegetable order – she must show me each item, going over my list in detail, and proudly displaying the high quality of her produce.  I must comment on each piece, or else there is an awkward question.  She also found an inexpensive pineapple and bought it thinking of me – it really was a fair price, so I agreed to buy it.  But, I don’t have any money, I reminded her.

I told her I would call my husband and have him bring home money to give to her next week, when she will bring today’s order.  She offered to come back by the house tomorrow afternoon.  Then she asked if we can go to my neighbor’s house to see if she had any money to loan me.  What?!  Thankfully, I happened to remember that particular neighbor had started back at school and was gone.  I also told her my baby was sleeping and I couldn’t leave the house.  Really, I was sorry.  I honestly didn’t have any money.

But, it really got me thinking.  This is not the first time I’ve needed some cash and been without.  The ATM is just down the street and I know I have access to cash if I need it, but the truth is, I can’t help but wonder if they believe me.  I wouldn’t believe me.  And I feel quite silly for saying, out loud, “I don’t have any money” when it’s obvious that, in comparison, I’m rich.

The proportions are different, but the reality of cash (or lack thereof) is not.  I do not know all of the cultural dynamics yet – and I’m sure I never will – but we don’t have bottomless pockets and we really try to make careful decisions with how we spend our money.  It’s hard to be a good example of that right now, because we are spending more than normal, setting up house and stocking the kitchen.  It is difficult to explain, but then again, no explanation is necessary.  We are here, and we are to be performing the work – Matthew is assisting the office and the director, I am home raising a handful of lovable goofballs – we are here because we have a team of amazing supporters.  Sometimes this comes up in conversation with our Congolese friends, that we are supported by people on the other side of the world, but I don’t think it’s very well understood.

So, pray for us to be light and salt, specifically in the sensitive area of money.  That we will be sensitive with appearances of money, but also that we can balance spending the money needed to be spent, and being wise.  And yet, not having a sense of guilt over our wealth – there is nothing wrong with being wealthy!  It is a privilege and a great responsibility – one we do not take lightly.  We must live life and give our children the best opportunity at a culturally diverse upbringing.  Cultural sensitivity and a sense of normal life is a balancing act every day.

This time of year is particularly difficult, because school began yesterday and school here is not free.*  People clamor for work or cash, theft goes up, and stress is high as people try to do best for their children.  Money is a constant battle.

Thank you for giving, supporting, encouraging.  We are grateful to be here and look forward to all the Lord has in store for us.

*One new trend is that Muslim schools are opening and offering free education for children of parents who join the local mosque.  (In some places, they are even offering free food and school uniforms – even cash!)  Obviously, this trend is quickly gaining ground – I have seen several new mosques that weren’t here our first year.  Pray that the local Church can continue to be a beacon against false teachings of all kinds.