Changing Mental Gears

Last night I went grocery shopping.  It was one of those major, stock up, out-of-all-of-the-basics trips.  I filled my cart (literally, filled, could not put anything else on it – in and under were filled aisles ago – thus skipping eggs because of a risk of failure).  I got home and unpacked the bags and put things away and realized how much mental effort it was to grocery shop here.  Mainly, how much I’ve had to change gears in my head.

Many (every?) re-entry blog will talk about grocery shopping and how it’s so different when you return to your home country.  Mostly, the talk is about how it is overwhelming – the options, the choices, the cheap prices, the magnitude of the stores, the choices, the variety, the brands, the choices.  So. Many. Choices.  I’m sort of back to normal American status of choices.  I think.  My struggle last night was not LOOKATALLTHECHOICES, but avoiding the bug of over-stocking.

Oh?  The cans of green beans were ridiculously cheap?  Better buy ten of them!  Wait, no, I can come back if the four I really need runs out.

One time the most Western grocery store in Kinshasa had Classico Alfredo sauce for $2 a jar because it was about to expire.  Did I buy all ten of them?  You bet I did.  That stuff was like gold!

They have fall-themed [insert product here]?!?!  Buy them all because who else might want them!?!?  Wait, no, they go to the store, probably often.  Maybe a different store.  They probably already have it.

Two Thanksgiving seasons ago the same grocery store had Oceanspray jellied cranberry sauce for a $1 per can.  Did I buy all EIGHTEEN of them?  Yep!  Because I knew others would want them for their own fall feasts, so I shared them.  

I walked past the popcorn flavor powders and stared at them for a few minutes trying to decide their worth.  I remember movie nights long ago in Kinshasa when this was the main event.  Pilot/mechanic David would make batches of popcorn and his wife, Sandy, would spread out different flavored powders – cheese, kettle corn, Ranch, extra butter…  It was better than a movie theater!

Except, I didn’t buy any last night.  Because I’ve been lazy and poisoning us with the microwave stuff and it’s pretty darn tasty, if you ask me.

But I stared, and pondered, and reminisced.  This also could have been because it was 9pm and I was only halfway through my giant trip.

And there when a few more morsels of energy.

There are choices and varieties, and cheap costs on delicious things.  But there is also the slow realization that going to the store is easy.  The stores are almost always in stock of whatever our hearts and stomachs desire.  The stores are nearby for most of us.  My closest store is a decent-sized one exactly two minutes from driveway to parking spot.  The giant Walmart is six minutes.  My favorite (Winco, where I was last night) is ten.  And there’s a bunch in between.  I don’t need to stock up on anything.  I can hop in the car and go anytime, day or night.

To switch mentalities from one shopping culture to another is exhausting.  Every single thing: grocery item, piece of mail, advertisement, conversation is something I have to sort through – is this for me/us?  Is this something I must pay attention to, or can I ignore it?  Should I stock up on this information because it’s valuable, or can I figure it out later?

This is one of the many facets of reentry and why it’s so complicated.  And tiring.  And makes blogging seem like it’s been getting forgotten on the back burner, or fallen behind the stove.  Because by the end of each day, my brain is tired of making decisions and thinking and sorting information.  Thanks for your prayers.  It’s a fun challenge, and a healthy one, but a busy a season.